Wednesday, January 11, 2012

She amazes me


Sometimes I wonder how she does it. These dizzy spells would have had me a mess. Does she look a mess to you? Nope.

Her symptoms have included dizzy to where she feels like the whole room is spinning, foggy eyes, green dots, hot flashes then cold chills, nausea, feelings of falling, blurry vision, crossed eyes and fever. At first she was just a little dizzy but over the last month the symptoms have gotten really bad.

The normal routine has become she gets these feelings, I hold her and hold her arms close to her body to help her feel secure, give her a drink and talk to her until she calms a bit.

A few weeks ago she woke up at about 2am screaming. Not yelling, literally screaming. She was terrified. I followed the normal routine and it only got worse. I was screaming over top of her so she could hear me and it did nothing except wake up the whole house. When the dizzy spells hit, her arms flare out, you can see more white of her eyes than color and her skin becomes pale. Scared would be is an understatement. This time nothing I did helped. It.Was.Horrible.

She said she could not see and she thought she was going blind.

Since then the episodes have only gotten worse. We have seen her eye doctor, neurologist and family doctor. Eye doctor said he is 100% positive it has nothing to do with her eyes. Neurologist has ordered a number of tests and everything has came up fine. Which is good in a way, I guess. On one hand its nothing serious (so far) but on the other hand what is going on??

Up this week is Ear, Nose and Throat doctor and follow up with Neurologist to get the results of her recent EEG.

I'm telling you what...this is hard. As I was sitting with Taylor for the EEG I could not get over how strong she is. When I took her picture she just smiled. A few times she has asked me whats going to happen if they can not find anything. What does that mean, mom? I just want to be back to normal, mom.

Normal? Her normal is not my normal. Her normal is struggling to feed herself. Her normal is having to have assistance with every aspect of her life. Her normal is having to ask for a drink when she is thirsty. Her normal is driving a wheelchair to get around. Her normal is at times being fed through a feeding tube. Her normal is not my normal. That's all she wants is to be back to normal.

I love that girl.

So for now we wait. We test. We wait some more. Have I ever mentioned how I hate waiting?

God seems to make me wait for a lot of things. Maybe he is trying to tell me something. Hmmm.......

3 comments :

Carla G said...

I just LOVE your Blogs :) You have such an Amazing and Lovely Family. I hope they figure out what is going on. I will keep Taylor in our thoughts and prayer. As well as the rest of your Family. Thanks for sharing Miranda :)

Mom of M&Ms said...

we are praying for accurate diagnosis and for a return to "normal".. and for courage and strength...

Leslie said...

Praying for answers and relief soon! Sending hugs!

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